light the match!

I wake up each morning with this pain in my chest that I love with every bit of life left in me. Every dawn I witness is an invasion of light in my pleasant dreams making everything too bright to feel their vividness anymore. And that’s exactly why, every single day, I await the sight of the sun at the horizon at dusk, happily aware that it won’t be long before that I can let go of reality, loosen its grip over me & let myself fall back in love & those lovely dreams that are safely locked in the past.

He was a change that I dint need to force myself to accept. His absence is a scar that I protect from being healed, because the pain is what keeps me closest to him in every possible way. The very same pain that makes me shed buckets full of tears, makes me smile in wonder, makes me blush so hard that it never ceases to burn my cheeks when a small gesture, a soft hum remind me of a time I don’t need to look back to convince myself of all the happenings.

There are a lot of unanswered questions that ache my heart as they linger for an eternity that I tried to lose to time. The fear of being forgotten haunted my sanity, for what I always wanted to be was, a ghost that wandered its way into his present, his pursuit of happiness.

All for a time when you’ll hang onto the pain, just so you feel remembered for the hurt that you were caused.