Love sans barriers?? :)

It was an instant chemistry. I was swept away by him in the very first glance. He was mesmerized the way I held him first, he later told me. It was a fortune meeting him, & I just couldn’t help but fall in love with him.

They stopped us at first, warned us of the possible consequences, the difficulties. But we were in love & nothing else mattered. Besides, no one sees how beautifully we complete one another.

They say love knows no boundaries, needs no language. I now know why. I write on his palm what I have to say to him & he makes sure I lip read his words.

He never misses the sight he never had. And his voice is the only sound I regret not being able to hear.

the battles she dint choose

What does life want now? It was all she could think of. She wanted to shake alive every quiescent incident that she had hidden in the corners of the darkest corners of her mind and think about what she was left with that life could take away; anything that she had stacked away in those dungeons, stuff that made her wince with embarrassment at her juvenile stupidity, those mistakes she wished she'd never made. She was always regarded as the one who grew up way too fast. Wisdom dawned her aura, and yet it seemed as if the child deep within her surfaced too often, trying to live a life it never could, making that worldly knowledge of people curtain itself, as if almost unwilling to disturb the child in her at its best. But then as I mentioned earlier, wisdom dawned her aura. When she was looked at, it was not her stunningly beautiful face framed by waves of long black hair that people noticed first. It was that intimidating feeling that washed through them, an unwillingness to know what lay behind those eyes. She had heard men talking about how much they loved a woman who had an untouched innocence about her. Little did she know that it was exactly the opposite of THAT, some daring men found most appealing in her. It was the confidence with which she walked, the second glances at people by which she could easily tell who they were on the inside, the way she completed everybody's sentences, knowing exactly what they wanted to say (better than they did) because she had gone through it all. Life as she knew it had been unkind to her often, but like the millions of lessons she learned, she knew that it was because of that unkindness that she was not just any other woman in any man's life. She was who she wanted to be, always holding the upper hand, the one to passively control things around her. That was the strength of her aura, something no one had ever been able to take from her.

She sank down on her sofa quietly wondering why the past was trying to become her present. She wondered why the people she had let go off an eternity ago wanted to be a part of her life now. Didn't they know that things would never be the same now? Or did they think she was weak because she had chosen to let go and run away. Rashi had always known that she was never the weak one. Over the years, she had learned that neither running away nor letting go were signs of cowardice because, she was one of the few who knew  the courage and strength it took to let go and move on and try forget something she'd held on to so strongly. And every time those things knocked at her door, she knew how much strength it took to shove them out, tell herself that there was no room for second thoughts. She knew how much strength it took to remind herself time and again that there were some things she never did. Going back on a word she had promised herself was one of them. So yes, there was no turning back! There never would be, even if she sometimes she wished she could.

But today was different. It wasn't any other past that had turned up at her door. No, it wasn't that friend who had once betrayed. No, it wasn't that sister who didn't care. And no, it wasn't that family that once turned their back on her so mercilessly. She winced at the thought of who it was. As she wrecked journals of memories, she remembered an old friend who'd been with her through it all. She remembered the words that had once slipped her tongue. “It’s never going to leave you alone. It will tag along one day and you'll find yourself right where you were in the first place”. She had been right about the first part. That past had never left her. It always came back every few years for reasons she did not know. For reasons, she didn't want to know for her own sake. But that friend had been wrong about the second part. It didn't leave her where she had started. She was miles away from the beginning; the void filled with experience and wisdom. Every time that past knocked on her door, she found herself beckoning the strength everyone knew she had. The power to never look back, swear on her soul to keep the promises others couldn't keep. And so she walked away every time. And she didn't care about those who thought she was weak. Because she knew that walking away had always been an option, but she was never the reason she had made it her choice.

The storm or the calm ..what do you prefer?

Fights are bad. Folks on both sides end up hurt. The heated exchanges, the hurling of unwanted & uncalled for words, the consequential cold war, the awkwardness, the discomfort that follow make you wish you’d never haven’t gotten so far in the first place L

But then, sometimes, voicing out a controversial opinion & getting into a row is a hundred-fold better than resorting to silent mutiny. The latter suck, ‘cause the ill feeling makes home in your head, multiplying with every passing day and eating away your precious grey matter. In the fast-paced stressful lives we live today, it’s easy that we hold tons of resentment; against different people, for different reasons. The result? ; An awfully muddled-up head. You  spend too much time thinking about them & trust me, it only brings you ill health.

When there arises a situation that annoys you; do your insides do a triple jump and pound your brains with Oh no!! not another of those!!

There’s something that happened at work today. There was some argument between two of my friends. She’s one of those goody-goody girls who’d keep everything bottled in the name of harmony. I just wish this once; she’d decide to go beyond just huddling and feeling bad at being at the receiving end, all day. If only she could go to the concerned person and tell her all the crappy stuff she felt about him. Ofcourse there’d be a bit of the unpleasant history, especially if the tempers get real nasty. She’d feel bad for a day or two, resenting the utter chaos her damned honesty had caused. Yes, she’d be disturbed, she’d  wonder if all this was totally stupid, unnecessary. For the person she is, her introspection wouldn’t lead her anywhere, her mind wouldn’t be extremely proud of what she had done.

But then again, confronting a person takes courage. How long would the ill-feeling about the concerned person linger around. The burden would lessen after a day or two; the hard feeling vented out would make one feel lighter. The concerned person would know what she thought of him, and so there’d be no need for all those fake smiles. My two cents, if a person has to be liked, he/she must be liked for what they truly are else I really wouldn’t mind some hatred.

Yes truth hurts but then the mask of hypocrisy weighs a lot. I feel good without it J

the Dark knight??

There comes a time when you begin to enjoy the solitary moments in the absence of light & recollect the sun-lit dawns of your past without wishing to go back to a world where acceptance is a rare phenomenon. That’s when you befriend the Dark.

The Dark can be, well simply put, beautiful. I’ve lived my share of pleasant memories in there. It is the unseen face of mystery, rustle of barely audible whispers, knowledge of someone else's emotion, & a home to the friend locked up within you. I look up to see the beauty clash with the beastly side. I can hear the black hole on the other side sucking away all the pleasantness. I’m too repelled to be drawn into the hell & so I tread towards the flood of light. Knowing where to find it again, the treasure it holds, I retrace my way back into the sheer beauty of the dark when I’ve had too much of the light.

q sach ka sabak sikhaaye, jab sach sunn bhi na paaye..

Dream big. Take a stand. Don’t give up.

Tall ideals like the ones are taught to us as children. And when we grow up, discover a passion and declare to the whole wide world that this is what we want to do with our lives, we’re hit on the face with collective derision.

We’re told tales of great revolutionaries who battled colossal hardships before they achieved what they sought. But when we take this history seriously and try to emulate them in our own lives, we’re asked to get practical.

It’s hard to fight for a dream in a middle class Indian family. Greatness is not our cup of tea. Striving for it would mean taking a huge risk. Our lives are ordinary. Be good, toe the line, follow the herd and die one day without leaving so much as a footprint behind. As long as you got a job and a decent bank balance, you can sleep peacefully at night. Don’t strain yourself; someone else can do the ‘being great’ part.

Hello!! but that’s not how dreams operate.  For the record, they don’t ever let you sleep in peace until you’ve done justice to them. They eat into your grey matter and corrode your spine. They keep you awake in the dead of the night, staring at the fan go round and round in the dull beam of the street lamp. They make sure you’re restless, frustrated and desperate enough to drag your ass around and go at it hammer and tongs. It’s awesome when you accomplish them but then getting there is gonna zap the light off your eyes.

And, once you’re bitten by your dream, greatness is not an option. It’s the journey that has already begun, and is never gonna end.

It’s sad, but the fact is that you’re alone in this journey. Care for a free advice? You’ll get tons of thoughts every moment of every day of every freaking week. Most of it would probably be backed by the noblest intentions of love and care. But take one real look around and you’ll know that no one’s really got your back. No one else is as obsessed. It’s just you.

If it were to be my dream, I’ll whine a whole lot. Maybe consider settling for Plan B a zillion times in the process. But I’ll get over it. Because, deep down, I will always know that I can’t settle for anything lesser than that. I’ll take a stand. I’ll give it time. I’ll grow the roots.

This post if written for reminding myself of a status I had put up for a long time, about the leap of faith. This is also written for someone very close to my heart. I do not wish to name you but when you read this post you know this one’s for you, so you believe in yourself & be clear of what you want.

P.S.: The post header is a line from the famous "sadda haq" from the 2011 blockbuster Rockstar.

Translation to english: why teach us the lesson of truthfulness, when you fear hearing the truth.

love & all that.....ah uh!!

A very sugary, mushy post; read at your own risk. Diabetics could avoid the post :p

 

Once in your lifetime, you meet someone who completely turns your world around. You tell them things, funny & painful, share moments you wouldn’t share with another soul. Strangely, you don’t tire them with your stories, they absorb every word you say and, in fact, want to hear more. You share the highs & lows, hopes for future, dreams that might never come true, goals that were lost in the rat race, disappointments that life has thrown at you.

You are more than eager to tell to them when something wonderful happens, knowing that they’ll genuinely share your excitement & drench in the happiness just like you. They won’t be embarrassed to cry along with you when you smart. They are careful & would never hurt your feelings; never would they make you feel that you are not good enough. They’d rather build you up & show you an image of yourself that makes you special & even more beautiful.

There are no negative feelings when you are together, no jealousy, no pressure, no competition. Instead there is a calm that you’d want to be forever. You can be yourself without a second thought because they love you for who you are. Small things in life that might otherwise seem insignificant, a note that you strike together, a song that you sing together, or a walk are treasured in your heart to be cherished for a long time to come. Colors seem brighter. Laughter seems to come more naturally. A word from them helps you get through the worst of times; brightens up your face with that elusive smile.

With time, words fail to do justice; the contentment that comes with the silence, saying nothing yet understanding all that one has to say, to hear.

You think of them in the smallest of joys; a pale blue sky, the gentle breeze that runs through your wild hair, a stormy cloud across the horizon. You need to open your heart, aware that there is a fair chance that in doing so might result in a heart-break; but when you open your heart, you experience a love; a joy that you never dreamt could exist. Being vulnerable is the only way you allow your heart to feel the true bliss so real that scares you upright. Your only strength is in the knowledge that you have a true friend, a possible soul-mate who’ll remain loyal to the end of this earth.

That is when you see life is a new perspective, it is more worthwhile than it ever seemed. & yea, you only hope and security that they’ll be a part of your life.

 P.S.: Image google-d!