Silence at the dawn

The silence threatens to take me down.  It's 03:53 AM and I am in a semi-sleepy state. It is lovely. At this moment. This state. Usually it is annoying. And doesn't make for much productiveness in life. But right this moment, I am not complaining. Not because it is not bothering me anymore, but because I am not in a mood of complaining. 03:54 AM is not the time to complain. It is the time to lean back and stare at the ceiling. It is the time to let the silence take over. To let the mind wander through uncharted territory. To count sheep.

The sun is rising. At 04:08 AM I can already spot a few stray rays making their way through the drawn curtains. The building opposite to my place blocks the view. And from where I am lying down, all I can see out of the window is the building.

The air is warm. Drifting through the open window. Creeping in. And making everything uncomfortable in its vicinity. Getting hold of life and making it sweat. The signs of summer fast approaching. Slowly making its way to my bones. Through my toes. I will forget it when I get back to wherever it is that I will get to.
 

Wuthering Heights. The book that messed up my sleeping cycle. The one that I had so meticulously maintained for some time now. I stayed up till 3 last night. Reading. And didn't leave the room. Reading. It is gripping. It is. Wonderfully so. A nice change. From everything I read in recent past.

The sun is rising as I write this. Technically, the sun is always rising. Somewhere. And falling. Whether I am writing, reading, sleeping...

I just heard the squeal of tires. And another. At 04:24 AM I am not too optimistic about the drivers and their sobriety. And from what I hear, there wasn't anything sober about that angry squeal. I am sure they left tire marks on the smooth road. How presumptuous I am. I have been told.

I should sleep. 04:29 AM. The birds are chirping. More rays are joining the party. Gay and merry. We stalk the night and little by little take it over for a day before it engulfs us again.

More birds chirping. There is no silence now. Is there ever?

 

Placebo on my track list. Because his voice sounds full of pain and yearning. Which feels very appropriate at the moment. It's as though he sings with a stake through his heart. Sigh. The lyrics, googled of course.

 

I wrote this novel just for you

It sounds pretentious but it's true
I wrote this novel just for you
That's why it's vulgar
That's why it's blue
...
You're always ahead of the game,
I drag behind,
You never get caught in the rain,
When I'm drenched to the bone every time,
You're the first one to swim across the Seine,
I lag behind....
...
Slip and stumble at my first offenses
It's not treason, it's no lie
You talk in paragraphs
I write my sentence
You'd better keep it in check
Or you'll end up a wreck
And you'll never wake up
You'd better keep it in check
Or you'll end up a wreck
And you'll never wake up
Wake up
 

The sun is in the room now. Uninvited. Unwanted. Around me. On me. And the chirping. It is getting slightly deafening. Time for bed.